UNFINISHE…

Why you don’t finish what you start.

Do you have a stack of unfinished books somewhere in your office or next to your bed? How about unfinished projects around the house, or really great business ideas that are sitting half done in an unmarked folder on your laptop?

No shame! We all do. But Why?

Is it Laziness, ADHD, Scatterbrained-ness, Distractions, is it a Lack of Discipline, Motivation, or Resources?

NOPE! It’s Fear. You’re just a big giant scaredy-cat!

Ok Well YOU aren’t- but your brain is!

I know what you're thinking, "Nah-uuhhh… I really just haven't had time!"

OK the half-painted wall in the bathroom might be because you ran out of paint when the phone rang, then dog stepped in the paint tray spilling it, and then you spent the rest of your only day off scrubbing paw prints off of the wood floors.

But technically even that project still isn’t finished because you’re scared. You're not worried about the dog finger painting again, you're scared of taking the time away from other priorities… like binging on Netflix and doritos.

But what about the vacuum you took apart weeks ago, or the unfinished stack of books, the overdue reports you promised your boss, or that awesome business idea that you had 2 years ago… or that final chapter of that book you started writing 4 years ago?….( Ummm Asking for a friend…)

Well these can all be broken down into 4 categories of unfinished business, and they are all driven by fear.

The 4 types of Unfinished Projects...

and the reasons why we don’t finish them.

#1. The Not Enough Time/ Resources Unfinished Projects - These are the projects that are on-hold, either actively, because you are waiting for parts to arrive, or you are waiting until your next paycheck or day off to go buy paint. Or they could be inactive and on-hold with no definite plan for completion.

These projects take up a tiny bit of mental real estate in the back of your head until you are only reminded of them when you walk by the pile of snowboarding gear in your garage, or stub your toe on the boxes at the bottom of the stairs. These are the projects you want done, but don't want to do them. This is short term fear. You fear the process of doing them- either because you don’t know how much it’s gonna cost, or how to do it, or that it’s Cold AF in the garage and you are afraid of losing out (FOMO) on doing something better, like being snuggled under a blanket with your cat and full season of Wednesday Adams at your finger-tips!

So How do you get these projects done?

Well if you look at the Motivation Wheel: They fall under Potential. These projects are best completed with fresh eyes, and scheduled into the first part of the day, when you still have some will-power to work with. They often require a little bit of planning, or prep work- like ordering supplies, or recruiting a second set of hands. Erasing the fear of the unknown by just pricing it out, or watching a tutorial on YouTube - is usually enough to put your brain at ease that the pain will be worth the outcome.

A pro(crastinators) Tip: Estimate the amount of time it will take, and double it, and then race yourself. Schedule it, and call in some moral support. Because we are more interested in the result, and not the method, having a friend to help or just being a cheerleader can help you overcome that FOMO.

#2 I Don’t Really Want it Done, Unfinished Projects- These are the projects you like the doing part, and oftentimes there is little to no tangible benefit in them being done. These are usually hobby projects or busy work, like redesigning your brand colors for the 6th time (this month.) You may start these with big ideas and make a whole inspo board on Pinterest. You buy all the supplies and spend a full Saturday listening to TaySways new album on repeat, burning your fingers 100 times while hot gluing faux flowers to picture frames. And even though you have no idea what you are going to do with them when you are done, you love the process.

You know you don't need to finish these projects because at least they are not critical to your survival, but the real problem is the mental (and literal) clutter they create taking up real estate for more important tasks.

But if these are so fun, what are you actually afraid of? Well, these projects go unfinished because we are afraid when they are done, so it is our fun, and what we are actually afraid of is all the #Adulting we will have to do instead.

On the motivation wheel, these projects fall under Play. We aren’t in it for the results, but we definitely love the process, and we often retreat to these projects because we are avoiding something else bigger and scarier, and we will drag these out as long as we possibly can! This is also known as Procrasterbating.

How can you get these projects done?

Well the good news is, most of the time you don't have to. If they are hobbies like crafting, it’s ok to leave them unfinished, because they serve their purpose in giving you a creative outlet. Instead of putting your focus on finishing the project, decide the amount of time you allow yourself to work on them, and consider the time block finished, not the project. You can always schedule more time in later, or make it your Sunday ritual while you are doing laundry.

Now if these things are busy-work you are retreating to like cleaning out your inbox or changing your profile images on social media, the same applies- set a time limit on how long you will ‘play.’ The difference here is that busy work still needs to get done, so instead of abandoning these fun projects when your time is up, you will be applying Parkinson's Law- which states that tasks will take up the time allotted. In other words if you give yourself a week to pack for a trip it will take you all week, but if you only have 30 minutes before you have to leave for the airport, you might forget a toothbrush, but you’ll definitely find a way to get that suitcase zipped and be at the curb as your Uber is pulling up! Set a time limit to complete the task and race the clock!

Pro(crastinators) Tip: Use these types of projects as rewards for facing the big scary adulting tasks or projects you are avoiding.

#3 The You Can’t Make Me Unfinished Projects- These are No Gain, All Pain. These are projects you don’t want to do, you can't see the benefit in doing them- but for some reason you feel like you have to do them. These are pointless reports your boss requested, or the honey-do list your mother-in-law left you. Or these can be the projects that someone told you should be doing but you really don't see the value in or really just can't picture yourself doing!

Now, it seems pretty obvious that what we are afraid of here is wasting our f*ing time. Which is completely legitimate. This can be a tricky spot to be in. Doing the project is painful, and there is virtually no pay off for you, however NOT doing the project usually means you are still experiencing some sort of pain, and the results might be even more unfavorable. For example, those stupid reports: Staying late drudging through excel sheets to do them might mean canceling dinner with friends and building resentment for your boss, making you hate your job a little bit more. Not doing them means your boss resents you and you hate your job a little bit more. It seems like a no-win situation.

On the motivation wheel, these fall under Pain, where you don't enjoy the method or the results. So no wonder why you wouldn't actually want to finish these projects, because you can’t see a benefit either in the short term, or the long term.

So how do you get these projects done?

You probably don’t. In fact these are the projects that you really need to evaluate, and ask yourself if they are actually a priority for you. Your mother-in-law's guilt trip may not be your problem. (Unless your spouse makes it your problem, in which case you may have found a Potential based outcome to motivate you.) Your boss’s frivolous request might be something you delegate, or trade with a colleague who, for some strange reason, loves excel! Or if it’s sending out those dreaded prospecting emails to get new clients even though you feel like it never pans out, this might be something you outsource to a Virtual Assistant!

Pro(crastinators) Tip: It might be time to take a look at your values, and your boundaries, and set new standards. If you are finding that most of your work or projects fall into this category, you are living in Pain- and you deserve better dammit!

#4 The I’ll Never Let Go, Jack - Unfinished projects. These are projects that align with your values, and your strengths. You love working on them and daydream about the outcome. These are the projects you are so passionate about in the beginning you feel like the only way you will ever let them go is if someone peels your cold dead hands off of them-And this is inherently the problem.

These fall under Purpose on the Motivation Wheel where you love the method and you love the results. These projects are rarely, if ever, actually abandoned- you might keep adding to them, and they keep growing, but these are things you are always working in, and working on, even if years pass between picking them up again.

These projects go unfinished because of the ‘What If’s’; what if it’s not good enough, what if they laugh at me, what if I’m wrong, what if I don’t like it, what if I fail, or that sneaky one, what if I actually succeed?!

Fear of Failure (which is often disguised as the Fear of Success) is the most universal and most damaging fear. So it seems obvious that overcoming these fears is the key to getting these projects done. But that is often easier said than done. Things like, mindset hacking and affirmations may help in overcoming these conscious fears, but what about the UNconscious fears?

Your brain is wired to keep you safe, and every single one of these fears is an imminent threat to your survival brain, and when your brain fears something- it will do everything in its power to prevent you from moving towards that thing- even if YOU really really want it.

This feels like fate, or the universe getting in the way. It’s when you get stuck in traffic and don’t make it home in time for that really important zoom call with that prospective client. It’s when you drop your laptop in the bathtub and don't back up your work. It’s when circumstances and things that feel like they are beyond your control are happening that are preventing you from launching your new business, or sending that scary email, or taking that next big step towards completing that big project. Yet we feel continuous motivation to keep working on them.

Getting these projects done takes more than a quick productivity hack, or motivational quote.

In order to do this you have to learn How to Stop Being Afraid of the Fear. Which is exactly what I talk about in the next post - so don't forget to check that out!